My Dad is in a constant state of readiness for his own untimely demise. While, thankfully, I have never had to directly benefit from this, I have been told on a regular basis what to do in case he kicks the bucket. These talks often come after something happens that could have lead to a scenario in which disaster struck.
Perhaps this constant state of preparedness has infused itself into my very being. I’m always planning everything else (as many people know, I break down if there’s no plan) and if I’m not thinking of what exact route I’m going to take from how many films I’ll work on before applying to Grad School to what kind of house I’ll try to get to how I’ll teach my kids stuff, I plan out my daily and weekly schedules to the T. It’s nice to try and get the dominos to fall in a convenient fashion but the things I plan never seem to go as I expect and some few variables that I didn’t account for usually tend to throw off my expected endgame by a great deal.
Generally things tend to go well anyways, only the route is different, and oftentimes things turn out better than expected so I can’t quite tell if the moral of the story is to stop obsessing over the future or to continue the obsession because things turn out better when you do it that way.